You know, when I first read this message from the Universe, I never really equated it to my physical self. Beauty? Eh. I might have had some way back when. I modeled. And I acted. And I had my share of men hanging around. One part of me knew I was attractive, but there was another part that remembered things my mother and brother had said–things that hooked into my soul like burrs on wool socks.
Instead, when I read this, I thought about my writing. For a long time, I considered my writing…ugly. A little like my own self image. I wrote for myself, for the most part. I didn’t share. Oh, I did once. The first “novel” I ever wrote. In the eighth grade. Starring my BFF, Davy Jones, and Peter Noone. That would be Davy of the Monkees and Herman of Herman’s Hermits. Yeah, yeah. I’m older than dirt. We’ve established that. But someone else in the class got their hands on that notebook and…well, the teasing and disparaging remarks did commence. Ah well. I’ve gotten worse in the years since. If you’re going to be a writer, you have to grow a thick skin first and foremost.
Anyway, I eventually decided that I could write, that people might decide they liked reading what I wrote, and so I started my path to publication. But you know? I didn’t really see the beauty until I went back and read the first book I wrote. No, not that awful teenage-angst-filled fan fiction, but the first book I wrote with an eye to publication. Oh, it’s silly and wordy and full of broken rules but twenty years later, it’s still a good story with characters I like and I can see my own beauty in those words.
Do you know what my “why” is, Silver?
Watching you “wake up” one day – mid-stride, mid-cupcake, or mid-email – and truly seeing your own beauty. Crying happy tears, blowing kisses into the wind, and thinking, “I get it! I get Me! I love you, Silver James!” … crumbs falling from your mouth.
Take your time,
Thoughts become things… choose the good ones! ®
© http://www.tut.com ®
You loving yourself, Silver, as much as I already do… that’s my “why.”
It was a nice wake-up call.