So… What am I afraid of? Not spiders. Or snakes. Not haunted houses or graveyards. Walking down a deserted street? Piece of cake. Heights? Other than wanting to jump to feel what it’s like to fly (yeah, I know…that’s a bit on the crazypants side), I’m good with ’em. I feed a feral black cat and wish I could domesticate him and bring him inside. I’m not superstitious. Well, not much anyway. I knock on wood, throw a pinch of spilled salt over my shoulder, and say “bread and butter” when someone I’m walking with and I pass on opposite sides of a pole (don’t ask, I have no earthly clue, it’s just a thing in my family). I don’t like making telephone calls but I’m not phobic (much anyway) about them. When this bit from the Universe dropped into my inbox, I got to thinking…
Should you ever find yourself on your path, Silver, moving along in spite of fear, wondering if you’re ready or not to rise to the next level, chances are great that you will not be ready.
© http://www.tut.com ®
You see, Silver, wondering means you’re not ready, doing means you are.
Want to know what I’m afraid of? I’m afraid that I’m a fraud. That I can’t write. That I’m beating my head against a brick wall and I’m suffering from concussion syndrome because I keep doing the same things over and over. But ya know what? I keep writing. I keep publishing. I keep walking my path despite the fear, worrying if I CAN rise to that next level. In my head, I’m ready. But maybe I’m not because yeah…I still feel like a fraud. But I keep doing it. Writing. Publishing. Wash, rinse, repeat. I’ll get it right one of these days. In the meantime, one foot in front of the other. Someday I’ll “find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.”
Caveat: Feeling like a fraud is a common thing among writers, dreamers, and me. We got this.