Writing. It’s what I do. Okay. It’s what I used to do. For almost two years now, pulling words from my imagination and slapping them on a keyboard so that they appear on my computer monitor has pretty much been a lost cause. Depression sucks. It especially sucks when none of the usual “fixes” don’t fix things. I keep thinking that if I just sit down, all those stories and characters marching around in my head will miraculously transfer into a story. It’s always worked that way before. After all, writing is my job. It’s what I do. It puts groceries on the table and helps pay bills. I got up every morning–depressed or not–and went to work. Then I came home. I jotted down scenes at lunch and in the odd bits of spare time during the day and then transcribed into the computer at night after dinner, dishes, and good nights. Then stuff happened. And I was home, free to write all day. And what a joy it was! I wrote and sold COWGIRLS DON’T CRY. I wrote and self-published the Moonstruck series, Penumbra Papers, and more. And then…ugh.
So, for almost two years, I’ve gotten up every morning. I’ve come into my office, sat down at the computer and did my morning routine. Then I opened whatever WIP was hot. And stared at it.
Did I mention that none of the previous fixes worked? Well, this popped into my inbox on Tuesday. I’ve read it and reread it and the big U and I have had a couple of conversations.
Tell me, when you think of taking consistent action in the general direction of your dreams, Silver, do you imagine discipline, stamina, work, sacrifice, monotony, courage, and strategies?
Are you thinking adventure, discovery, new friends, excitement at the crack of dawn, magic, surprises, fun, laughter, and, on occasion, the Macarena?
Cool! Me too, “HEY!”
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Your chosen perspectives, Silver, change everything.
I suspect the Universe is onto something. Maybe it’s time to change the way I’m thinking about writing. Writing used to be fun, plotting an adventure. There was magic in words and my characters continously surprised and delighted me. Maybe writing ISN’T a job. It’s my dream. So dream I will, changing my perspectives as I go. And Universe, I only have one word for you: “MACARENA!”
What about y’all? Do you think too hard instead of looking on the bright side? Do you think I a bit loco?I probably am, but hey…if it means more words and books, I’m buying that ticket on the crazy train!
You may be loco, but you’re a bright spot for me today. Keep the crazy train rollin’.
I’m glad. This was obviously written before the poo-stuff hit the fan. Still, I can’t let the anger and outside forces further cripple me. I’ll save you a seat. 😉
ZGreat post 😁
Great thoughts!! I wanna ride on your crazy train!
Plenty of seats available! 😆