Thursday Thoughts: Universal Rethinking

Writing. It’s what I do. Okay. It’s what I used to do. For almost two years now, pulling words from my imagination and slapping them on a keyboard so that they appear on my computer monitor has pretty much been a lost cause. Depression sucks. It especially sucks when none of the usual “fixes” don’t fix things. I keep thinking that if I just sit down, all those stories and characters marching around in my head will miraculously transfer into a story. It’s always worked that way before. After all, writing is my job. It’s what I do. It puts groceries on the table and helps pay bills. I got up every morning–depressed or not–and went to work. Then I came home. I jotted down scenes at lunch and in the odd bits of spare time during the day and then transcribed into the computer at night after dinner, dishes, and good nights. Then stuff happened. And I was home, free to write all day. And what a joy it was! I wrote and sold COWGIRLS DON’T CRY. I wrote and self-published the Moonstruck series, Penumbra Papers, and more. And then…ugh.

So, for almost two years, I’ve gotten up every morning. I’ve come into my office, sat down at the computer and did my morning routine. Then I opened whatever WIP was hot. And stared at it.

Did I mention that none of the previous fixes worked? Well, this popped into my inbox on Tuesday. I’ve read it and reread it and the big U and I have had a couple of conversations.

Tell me, when you think of taking consistent action in the general direction of your dreams, Silver, do you imagine discipline, stamina, work, sacrifice, monotony, courage, and strategies?

Or…

Are you thinking adventure, discovery, new friends, excitement at the crack of dawn, magic, surprises, fun, laughter, and, on occasion, the Macarena?

Cool! Me too, “HEY!”
The Universe
© http://www.tut.com ®
Your chosen perspectives, Silver, change everything.

I suspect the Universe is onto something. Maybe it’s time to change the way I’m thinking about writing. Writing used to be fun, plotting an adventure. There was magic in words and my characters continously surprised and delighted me. Maybe writing ISN’T a job. It’s my dream. So dream I will, changing my perspectives as I go. And Universe, I only have one word for you: “MACARENA!”

What about y’all? Do you think too hard instead of looking on the bright side? Do you think I a bit loco?I probably am, but hey…if it means more words and books, I’m buying that ticket on the crazy train!

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Wednesday Words: Plausible Deniability

I won’t DENY that writing has been tough for awhile. And I’m probably in DENIAL about getting as many books written this year as I’d like, but hey, I can dream right? In the meantime, Twitter’s #1lineWed prompt has to do with denying denials. Or something like that. I pulled out this snippet from my current Nightrider WIP, NIGHT WISH. Things are not good in Wizard World. He’s waffling between douchehood and asshattery and poor Jen is getting whiplash. Theirs is a hard story and maybe that’s why I’m having trouble with it. Eventually, it will all come out. In the meantime, I won’t DENY you this snippet. Warning: Bad language ahead.
****
Jen
I couldn’t deny my feelings any longer. And I could no longer deny that I’d been so stupid. And wrong. All the evidence was right there in front of me. I braced, knowing what was to come would be bad. After everything that had happened, how could it be anything but?

Wiz paced the length of the room, stopping when he reached the far side. Muscles rippled beneath his T-shirt as he flung out his arms. “What else do you want me to say?”

He sounded so angry and there was no warmth in his eyes as he glared at me. What did I want him to say? That he loved me? That I was his…mate? Wasn’t that what the other old ladies called themselves? I’d told him I loved him and this was his response.

“I don’t have time for this, babe.” He turned his back on me and stomped to the door.

Evidently, I wasn’t worth more than a few moments of his time.

I’d waited too long to respond, hadn’t thought fast enough on my feet. He’d surprised me earlier and I’d just blurted out the words that brought us to this impasse.

“Did you ever care?” The words came from the very darkest bottom of my soul. “Or was I just a pity fuck?”

His lips pressed so tightly together a white line appeared around them. I caught that red glint in his eyes. My time was up. I sank my teeth into my bottom lip, hoping the physical pain would keep my face from giving me away. Wizard’s chest rose and fell, his nostrils flaring as he breathed deeply. And there it was. The same look of disgust on his face that I’d seen on my brother’s.

“Jen.”

“No.” I backed away. “I get it. Totally. Sorry to have bothered you. I won’t again.”

I whirled and ran, ignoring his voice.

“Jen!”

I kept going until his hand on my arm jerked me to a stop, spinning me to face him. My hand came up and I delivered a slap to his cheek with all my considerable weight behind it. I didn’t stop to think, I just reacted. Not sure who was most stunned, I stared at him, my eyes so wide I thought they might pop out. I’d never slapped anyone in my life. Ever.

Wizard stared back, his eyes narrowed, his lips a thin line, disapproval radiating from every pore in his body.

“Fuck it,” he growled. “I didn’t sign up for this bullshit.”
****
Poor Jen. She may decide that Wiz isn’t worth it when push comes to shove. And he will definitely need to work his butt off to redeem himself. I do so love to watch a bad boy grovel. *Bwahahahaha* Writers, any deny words to share? Readers, have you denied yourself anything lately?

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Second Monday and Second Breakfast

I’ve always thought the Hobbits had it right! We should all enjoy “second breakfast.” Of course, I’d put on more than the 10 pounds I’ve gained back since this whole isolation things started, so maybe I’ll just stick with second coffees. And thirds. Fourths. Whatever it takes. Anyway, it’s another Monday. Yippee.

So, I forgot to tell this story last week. When it happened, I made myself a note to use it and then promptly lost the note. Guess what I found?!?! The kids’ need some fence repair so a week ago, Lawyer Guy took his long tape measure to go up to see how many panels they’d need. Only has returned to the office so she wasn’t there. Baseball Boy and Stormy were. Stormy, as always, wanted to help. They got the measuring done, but on the way up, LG noticed some weirdness with one of the turn signals on his truck. He’d just replaced the bulb a few days previous. Anyway, as he had the hood up looking for the problem, Stormy offers to help. LG explains that he doesn’t have his tools with him and will need to go get them. According to LG, the conversation went like this:

Stormy: “I can help, Big Daddy.”

BB: “Stormy, Big Daddy said he needed tools. We don’t have what he needs here.”

Stormy: “What tools do you need, Big Daddy?”

LG: “Needlenose pliers and…” He names off a few other things that I don’t remember now.

Stormy: “Okay.” He wanders off, returns moments later with his tool bag (a Christmas present from us–a REAL bag with REAL tools because that’s what he wanted. He pulls out his pair of needlenose. “Like this, Big Daddy?”

BB head slaps, LG laughs, and says, “Exactly like that, Stormy.” And so they fix his truck.

Still having weird dreams–when I actually sleep. I don’t always remember them, often waking up thinking, “That was weird!” but no details. Then I had the one about an international writers group I belonged to. I let my membership lapse last month when it came time to renew for…reasons. Anyway, organization held their yearly conference in what was basically a deserted mall. There were weird hallways with rooms and there was a big store whre the staff was located. As this was my “last” conference, I went to say goodbye to some favorite staff members. They were all making boxes. Big boxes, like 18″ by 18″ by 36″. There were no goody bags to hand out. No lanyards with names. Just this huge pile of boxes. I got to hug my very frazzled friend and then I left, walking out of the mall without a backward glance. See? TOTALLY weird! Almost as weird as the one where the pigs with umbrellas were chasing my dogs.

Stormy had back-to-back soccer games Saturday. They picked up two new players from a team that dissolved, though the majority are from his private church school. Interesting microcosm of the world on his team. Stormy has blond hair and blue eyes but he’s also Choctaw and Muscogee-Creek. A brother and sister duo are Black, their parents are white. Yes, they were adopted, along with their other sister. Another little boy is Hispanic. Another mixed race–Black father, White mother. The other little boy looked to be all white. All the family groups camped on the sidelines, “socially distancing” between groups. All the families cheered all the kids–and the kids on the other teams we played. Parents and grandparents and siblings visited and played and teased and exchanged hugs. Screw social distancing when you can get a hug from a kid! THIS is how you change things, how you teach people how to get along, not dragging your kids to protests that can turn violent and teaching them to fear. One of the photos that DIDN’T make the majority of the news channels showed a cop who appeared to be White comforting a Black child who was scared and crying and looking for comfort, evidently because she’d gotten separated from her mother in the crush. THAT’s the narrative people need to remember. Anyway, moving on.

Speaking of cops… One followed me the other day and when I turned onto my home street, he bleeped his emergency lights, smiled and waved as he pulled around me. I have thin-blue-line stickers on my back window and I think that’s why. I was feeling pretty cool about it and told LG when I got home. He immediately went to check my brake lights and turn signals. “Cops’ll do that sometimes when they don’t have time to pull you over to tell you.” That’s LG. Always practical. FYI, all systems are go so it was totally a thank you for the support.

In other stuffs, TV and sports is all reruns, except the finale of “The Secrets of Skinwalker Ranch” was a whoah! Not much else on. Ah well. On the book front, I’m almost done with my re-listen to the last book of Nalini Singh’s Psy-Changeling series and the opening books of the follow-on series, Psy-Changeling Trinity. The newest book, ALPHA NIGHTS, hits my Audible app tonight around midnight. Yay. New stuff!

MOONTRUCK: BETRAYAL is almost ready. 🤞 for later this week. I’ve got edits/revisions coming on Cooper’s story, #9 in my Harlequin Desire series. I keep saying this but it really is time to stop procrastinating and forget about all the BS, get lost in worlds of my own creations where I have control, and “git ‘er done!” I’m still working on that.

In the meantime, how are y’all doing? Still healthy? Still safe? Any good news? Any bad news? I’m here to cheer or commiserate.

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Thuesday Treats: Chocolate Semifreddo

Don’t have ice cream in the fridge? If you keep these  simple ingredients on hand, you can fix the next best thing without having to run to the store. A cross between ice cream and mousse, this scrumptious dessert should satisfy all your ice-creamy cravings.

Total Time: 1 Hr. 35 Min.
Prep Time: 5 Min. 
“Cook” Time: 1 Hr. 30 Min.
8 servings

Discover Chocolate Semifreddo, an Italian-inspired dessert your family will request again and again. You’ll love the airy texture of Chocolate Semifreddo.

What You Need
1 pkg. (3.9 oz.) JELL-O Chocolate Flavor Instant Pudding
1-1/2 cups cold milk
1 tub (8 oz.) COOL WHIP Whipped Topping (about 3 cups), thawed

Let’s Make It
1 – Whisk pudding mix and milk in large bowl with whisk 2 min.
2 – Fold in COOL WHIP.
3 – Spoon into 8 (4-oz.) freezer-proof ramekins or jars with lids; cover.
4 – Freeze 1-1/2 hours.

Kitchen Tips
Tip 1 – Special Extra: For a mocha-flavored semifreddo, whisk 2 tsp. MAXWELL HOUSE Instant Coffee granules into the pudding before folding in the COOL WHIP.

Tip 2 – Special Extra: Sprinkle lightly with unsweetened cocoa powder just before serving.

Tip 3 – Note: These refreshing portion-controlled desserts can be frozen up to 1 week before serving. For all the nutritional details, CLICK on over to My Food and Family. I touched base with a couple of characters to check on their feelings about ice cream. Lennox Morgan, the heroine of ASSASSIN’S MOON, spends a lot of time with her Wolf mate, Griffith Caine, in very exotic locales. Sometimes, ice cream as we know it isn’t an option and Lenny discovered Chocolate Semifreddo when they were in Naples, Italy. Being a very talented lady, she figured out an easy way to recreate this dessert. She even convinced Griff that he likes it. 😉 If you’d like to read how a woman with a deep social conscience hooks up with a highly-paid international assassin, then click on the book cover or the title. ASSASSIN’S MOON is free to read with a Kindle Unlimited subscription or you can add it to your collection for $2.99. It’s also available in paperback. So, nosy minds want to know. What’s your favorite flavor of ice cream? Me? I’m a chocolate chip cookie dough kinda gal, but this would do in a pinch!

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Friday Sinema: Virtual Vacation

Over on my FB author page the other day, I mentioned an older movie that I really enjoyed–partly for the music but mainly for the story. “Which movie?” you ask. “The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill and Came Down A Mountain.” It’s quirky and sweet and heart-warming, and filmed in Wales, which is on my travel bucket list. Then, yesterday, this video showed up on one of my web browsers. Take a vacation for a few minutes and enjoy the Welsh countryside! Have a great weekend.

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Thursday Thoughts: Universal Dreaming Time

I get an email from the Universe every day. Sometimes the message resonates and I save it to share here when the time feels right. When I got ready to set up this post? Yeah. Well. After reading through–over and over–all the Universal notes I’d saved, none of them seemed…right. Not for what is in my head or my heart. Not for what is happening in the world. My anger isn’t exactly receeding, but I’m becoming resigned. I finally decided on this one. Which, by the time I finished musing, did sort of fit.

The presumption, Silver, at all times and under all circumstances, should always be that you are good enough, worthy enough, and lovable enough. And that you are exactly the right kind of person, in the right place, at the right time. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have been instilled with such dreams in the first place.

Love you,
The Universe
© http://www.tut.com ®

Trust me, Silver, the Dream Fairies are real sticklers.

Just so you know, ALL lives matter in my world. The life of a retired St. Louis cop who became police chief in his small town, and who was shot and killed by protesting looters as he tried to protect a store belonging to a friend, is just as important as anyone who dies at the hands of a wrong cop. The fact that police chief is black doesn’t matter to those spitting the rhetoric that only lives of a certain color matter. Why? Because he wore a badge.  That means he wasn’t really black, I guess. The police officer killed by the rioting protest mob in Oakland was black, but there are no protesters waving signs bearing his name and face, calling for justice for his family. So I’m done. Their rhetoric doesn’t wash with me.

Instead, I’m going to dream of my world where ALL lives matter. Where bad cops and criminals, regardless the color of their skin or their religion or their sexual orientation, are dealt with fairly by the justice system. Where victims, regardless the color of their skin or their religion or their sexual orientation, receive justice at the hand of that system despite the agenda of those who caused them harm. Because those victims’ lives matter. I hope I am in the right place at the right time and that the Dream Fairies can fix the hypocracy. Not sure their magic wands are big enough so I’m not holding my breath, but I’m dreaming it with all my heart. Because, folks, take it from someone who’s been there, done that. If all lives don’t matter, then none do.

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Wednesday Words: Never Forget

Given current events, today’s #1lineWed theme of **REMEMBRANCE, MEMORIAL, HONOR** seems a bit ironic because the dead I choose to honor and remember? Well…anyway. I’m still angry so I’m redirecting it. The idea came to me Monday night as I was trying to fall asleep, the opening playing over and over in my head. So I sat down Tuesday morning and wrote this. I don’t know if I will ever finish this book but I can damn sure work on it when I need an outlet because the main character is angry too. I think you can get an idea of the set up from this snippet. And I can tell you that she will remember, memorialize, and honor her dead.
****
THE WIDOW
Chapter 1

“Not guilty.”

The courtroom erupted. First, a wave of sound—shocked gasps. Then shouts of disbelief followed by the judge banging his gavel. The defendants hugged and slapped each others’ backs before doing the same to their attorneys, all of them grinning. No. Smirking. A few jurors looking guilty, the others showing signs of smug relief. Through it all, the woman in black sat on the front row of the gallery, right behind the prosecution table. Her face remained blank but her eyes missed nothing.

The district attorney, who hadn’t showed in the courtroom until time for the verdict and had played no part in the prosecution of this murder case, turned to her. He opened his mouth but snapped it shut as her gaze pierced him. He glanced, nervous now, at the defense table. The defendants’ knowing eyes rested on him. He turned toward the bench, waiting for court to be adjourned.

The courtroom cleared, but the woman in black remained in her seat, hands clasped in her lap, her face still blank.

Fourteen months.
Thirteen days.
Twelve jurors.
Eleven witnesses.
Ten pounds.
Nine indictments.
Eight weeks.
Seven cops.
Six defense attorneys.
Five hours.
Four defendants
Three dead.
Two seconds.
One judge.

The bailiff cleared his throat. She didn’t look at him as she rose. She ignored the reporters flocking like vultures in the hallway of the courthouse, their shouted questions bouncing off the shield of her cold control. Outdoors at last, standing on the granite steps of this alleged sanctuary for justice, she paused. Her eyes flicked across the big man standing at the bottom of the steps, his hip leaning against the base of the statue depicting Lady Justice. Arms crossed over over his chest, he watched her.

The horde of sensationalism-seekers hounded her, crowding the steps she would have to navigate to escape. Turning her attention to the reporters, she looked each one in the eye with such intensity her gaze left them unsettled.

“I will honor my husband’s memory,” she began.

The doors opened behind her and the men who’d blown her world apart breezed out, laughing like they had not a care in the world. They started to hassle her but the ferocity of her promise shut them up.

“I will never forget.” She stared for a moment, fixating on each man. Then she turned, dismissing them, and stepped down. The reporters scattered before her regal descent.

“Gonna have to take care of that,” one of the men muttered. “The sooner the better.”
****
Not sure any of us are writing much these days but if you have words to share, please do. Crawling back into my writer’s cave now. I have a new release to prep.

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Tuesday Treats: Turtle Dump Cake

The world is nutting batshit so I’m prescribing comfort food today. For me, that’s anything chocolate. Because…chocolate! Am I right? Of course, I am. 

 

Total Time: 50 Min.
Prep Time: 10 Min.
Cook Time: 40 Min.
12 servings, 1/2 cup each

Treat your family to a special dessert―without working too hard―with Turtle Dump Cake. Pecans, caramels, and chocolate come together beautifully in under one hour. Plus, a dollop of whipped topping adds the perfect flourish to Turtle Dump Cake.

What You Need
1 pkg. (11 oz.) KRAFT Caramels
2 cups milk, divided
1 pkg. (4 oz.) BAKER’S Rich Milk Chocolate, chopped, divided
1 cup chopped PLANTERS Pecans, divided
1 pkg. (2-layer size) devil’s food cake mix
1/2 cup butter, melted
1 cup (about 1/3 of 8-oz. tub) thawed COOL WHIP Whipped Topping

Let’s Make It
1 – Heat oven to 350°F
2 – Microwave caramels and 1/2 cup milk in medium microwaveable bowl on HIGH 2 min.; stir. Microwave additional 1 to 2 min. or until caramels are completely melted, stirring after each minute. Stir in remaining milk.
3 – Pour into 13×9-inch baking dish sprayed with cooking spray; top with half each of the milk chocolate pieces and nuts.
4 – Sprinkle with dry cake mix, then top with remaining milk chocolate pieces and nuts. Drizzle evenly with butter.
5 – Bake 35 to 40 min. or until edges are lightly puffed. (Center of cake should be soft but not wet.)
6 – Serve topped with COOL WHIP.

Note: Some reviews say it’s soggy in the middle. One used dark chocolate at high altitude and had other problems. There’s a BIG difference in cooking with milk chocolate and dark chocolate. Weird, I know, but I’ve discovered this with tried and true brownie recipes. Milk chocolate has a higher liquid content. I’m wondering what would happen if you mixed the butter with the cake mix rather than dribbling across the top. Must experiment one of these days. Also, could you substitute slivered almonds or peanuts? More experimentation!

Also Note: Feel free to use ice cream (B.E.) instead of Cool Whip. 😉

All the details are HERE at My Food and Family. I’m not the only one who turns to chocolate when stressed and/or angry. Everytime I see the 🤬 face, I think of Hannah. We all know Hannah can’t cook. Luckily, Annie Donaldson does. Whenever Hannah gets stressed–or pissed, Annie shows up on the front porch with this cake. Then they invite all mates over for coffee and cake. Hannah does brew great coffee. The Wolves get together to send flowers to Annie whenever this occurs. 🤣 If you want to see all of the Wolves, their ladies, and the kids settle into their HEAs, check out MOON SHOT and see what life is like after and the excitement. Just click on the cover or the title to head over to Amazon to grab the book if you haven’t read it already. Warning, it IS the last book in the series so….read all the others first. 😉 Raise your hand if you rely on chocolate and/or comfort food when the times get tough. 🙋‍♀️

On a side note…

Y’all bear with me for a moment because I’m about to do something I never do on social media. I am angry. Gut-churning, clinch-fisted, screaming-at-people angry. And have been since last night. You [amorphous anonymous person] want to make a point with peaceful protest? Go for it. But you DON’T EFFING burn out businesses or charities or vandalize and damage the Oklahoma City Bombing Memorial!!!! So yeah, I’m all about the comfort food at the moment. Me and Hannah both. I’m going to be shoveling it in with both hands for awhile. 

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June the First of Mondays

It’s a new month. A new week. And Monday. We’re halfway through 2020, though it seems like it should be 2022 by now! There was a weekend. The world turned crazy. I can’t even go there. Or maybe I should say I won’t. Moving on.

SpaceX launched. I watched. It reminded me of the wide-eyed wonder of my childhood. Stormy wants to be an astronaut when he grows up. For now. At six, this is always subject to change, as it should be. But LG and I watched. It was awesome and inspiring and I was excited when the text notification that Dragon had docked safely with the International Space Station. Woohoo for us! And US!

Stormy had two soccer games Saturday. Sadly, only 3 teammates showed up. The first coach agreed to play 3 on 3 because she only had 5 players herself. In the second game, the coach loaned us various members of his team to play 4 on 4 and give his players more time on the field. Our 5-6 year olds are playing 8U teams. Still, Stormy managed a goal which perked up his spirits. We keep reminding him that he’s playing bigger and more experienced kids. I hope he doesn’t get discouraged.

I’m doing more audio book listening of late. TV is much like social media–toxic. There’s enough anger to go around and I don’t want to invite it in. So, old movies, paranormal shows and Mysteries of the Abandoned for me. Sports replays. And favorite books by favorite authors and favorite narrators. Also, Live PD. I’m worried though about them going live again this coming weekend.

Speaking of Live PD and reruns, when I catch one of their “Missing” reports, I search the internet to see if the child/person has been located. Several have. Big yay for those found safe. Sad for those who were found dead, though their families have closure.

Still waiting on BETRAYAL’s cover. Technical difficulties due to a corrupted file. 🤞 for sometime this week. I decided to do a final read through, which is taking a bit of time. I can only read for so long before my eyes give out, even on the big monitor. This puppy is over 90K words so… Anyway, thank you for being patient.

I didn’t mention what I’m listening to. Comfort reads from fav authors, mostly due to new releases in those series. I did a spotty relisten to parts of Kristen Ashley’s Dream Man series and her new spin-off, the Dream series, leading to DREAM MAKER, the new release there. Loved the characters and the story. The production of the audio book? Totally sucked. Lots of complaints, so hopefully, it will be fixed, remastered, and released FREE to all of us who paid for the download. I went back to my In Death reread and got two in before starting on Nalini Singh’s Psy-Changeling Trinity series and next week’s release of ALPHA NIGHT. I’m actually starting with ALLEGIANCE OF HONOR, which is the final book of her Psy-Changeling series before moving into the 3 previous books on the Trinity series, which is a spin-off of the original. I was really tempted to go back to the beginning but that would take a couple of weeks. Anyway, I’m all about hiding from the real world and these books give me headspace for that.

Not much else going on in my world. The weather is finally warming up. Yay for AC. Jake gets to go to soccer though I’m looking forward to having him with me when I shop again. I’m worried that his training has slipped a little. We’ll see. Yes, I’ve worked with him at home but it’s not the same as being around strangers, with shopping carts, and shelves of stuff.

I am going to try very hard to get lost in one of my own worlds this week. I want new words written and the only way to do that is stop letting the outside world intrude on my mental health. I’m pretty much gone from social media. I hang out on my author page on FB because *I* control the environment there and the people who hang out with me are totally made of awesome! ❤ ❤ ❤ I don't check my twitter feed or my personal page feed for the most part. Anger and despair is bad for both my emotional AND physical health. So. Screw the real world. I'm going to go play in my own world. I hope to get new stuff out on a more regular basis so y'all can come hide too.

In the meantime, you take care of you. Do what you have to do in these crazy times to stay healthy and safe. Share something hopeful here, if you'd like–a good book you read, a movie/TV show. A new recipe you tried and enjoyed. Your favorite flavor of ice cream. How you like your coffee. Anything that makes you smile a little–or a lot. That's how we'll get through. 🥰

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Friday Sinema: Them Girls

Time is rolling past. Here it is another Firday and come Monday, we rewind the calendar and start a new month. I love Lee Brice’s voice and I think I’ve found my inspiration for an upcoming heroine. Her story is coming next February. Justice is definitely one. So am I. What about you? Are you “One of Them Girls?” Have an awesome weekend!

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