Monday Through Dark Colored Glasses

So. There was a last week. And a weekend. There were books to be read. Words to be written. Baseball and football to be watched. There was “The Masked Singer” (a not-so-secret indulgence). There was Stormageddon, cheeseballs, and stink bugs under the magnifying glass.

But when viewed through the filter of depression, all the good comes in shades of gray. It sucks. Depression. Life goes on around you and good things happen but all you see are the downs. Never the ups. You make lists of what needs to be doen and the you stare at the lists and get overwhelmed because you’ve been drown in the gray for so long that the list is huge and incomprehensible and because it is huge and incomprehsible every item on the list blurs into shades of gray and overwhelmed, you itnore it.

Yes. There are things to do. I’m doing them. The good news is, the last time it was this bad, I was up all night, sleeping all day, and basically doing only the basics to keep people from finding out and this went on for a couple of years until my brain righted itself and things got good again. It’s been a year but I sleep at night–mostly. I’ve gotten some things done. Not enough, but some things. I try every day at least. I haven’t given up. The voice in the dark says this is good, that I haven’t succumbed to the dark. As frustrating as it is, I am–in very minute increments–fighting back.

And y’all are helping. The cards. The emails. The smiles you send my way. Thank you. It’s hard not to sink back, thinking I’ve disappointed you, or betrayed you, or let you down in some way. That’s the dark voice in my head, the one that triggers all this bullshit. I know I’m not doing those things on one level and y’all remind me of that. Thank you.

One thing a day. That’s my goal. Check one thing on my list each day. It may take me another year but I’ll whittle it down. One daqy at a time.

May your week be filled with light and love and laughter and to my Canadian friends, Happy Thanksgiving!

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Thursday Thoughts: Universal Absolutes

It all comes down to this…

The evolution of all spiritual life, Silver, includes 3 absolutes:

1. You will love.

2. You will be loved.

3. The former will eventually be far more important to you than the latter.

Grasshopper,
The Universe
© http://www.tut.com ®

It’s when an old soul, Silver, becomes an old soul.

This is why I have hope for tomorrow. This is why I write books with Happy Ever Afters. This is why romance and love is important. And this is why I write them. And yeah, I’m a very old soul. That’s not a bad thing.

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Wednesday Words: Sister, Sister

Another Hump Day, another #1lineWed. Every watched (or read) “Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants?” Or have a sister from a different mister? There’s “Sister Golden Hair”–and I hope that doesn’t give anyone an earworm. Soul sister, sob sister, and sister cities. In this snippet, written as a writing exercise during a class at one of my OKRWA meetings, it’s a case of sibling rivalry. I have no clue if this bit will ever appear in a book. I’m thinking maybe one of the Red Dirt stories left to tell or perhaps the series after, so the heroe’s name would likely change. Still, given fifteen minutes and a prompt “second date,” I sorta like what my brain provided.
****
Cole exercised his iron-clad control to keep a smile curving his lips as he faced the woman sitting across the table from him. Delilah. Even her name grated on his nerves. They were only an hour into their second date and it was already an exercise in futility.

The woman didn’t know when to shut up. Clothes. Hair. Make-up. Kim and Kanye. Who freaking cared? She didn’t work, lived in an uptown apartment financed by Daddy who, according to Delilah, was the second coming of Rockefeller.

If he’d been the least bit attracted to her, Cole might put up with her gossip-gabbing mouth. His gaze dropped to glistening red lips. Nope. Nada. The idea of them touching him anywhere—anywhere—triggered cold dread along his spine.

A frisson of awareness skittered across the edges of his perception—something shy, illusive. And totally intriguing. He searched the restaurant looking for the cause. He quit breathing when his gaze collided with that of the woman six tables away.

She was…he didn’t know, couldn’t think for all the fireworks going off in his brain. Mine. She was. And he would claim her. Just as soon as he poured Delilah into a cab and sent her on her way.

Too bad Delilah noticed the direction he was looking.

“What is she doing here?” His lamentable date focused on the woman and sounded like a feral cat as she hissed the question.
“You know her?” He asked casually, and very, very carefully. He eyed the inch-long crimson nails Delilah displayed.

“My sister.” The amount of venom in that one word was enough to poison every customer in the place. “The one my parents disowned.”

Even more curious, he studied the other woman. Her dark hair glistened with red and gold highlights and her eyes were a blue that shaded toward gray. Delilah was a brassy blonde with hard blue eyes that reminded him of that weird water in amusement park rides. He could see a few similarities in the shapes of their faces, but the sister’s mouth? Yeah, he could imagine those lips on every part of his body.

“Coleman!” Delilah’s voice was whip-sharp. “Go tell her she has to leave.”

“Say what?” His gaze skimmed over her, his expression tensing.

“I was here first and I won’t be able to eat a bite with that bitch in the room.”

He choked back a laugh. The only bitch in the room was the one sitting across from him. He leaned back in his chair. “You don’t want to share space with her, you know where the door is.”

Delilah’s face drained of color and then suffused with red as her anger surged. She rocketed out of her chair and leaned over the table as her hand snapped out, fingernails leading the way.

The man’s movements were almost lazy as he blocked her sister’s blow. The approaching waiter halted, frozen stiff by the expression on his face. Amy had never seen any man look more ruthless and she’d grown up in a viper pit of alpha males. A part of her brain wondered what her father would do if confronted by that look.

When she’d realized her sister was here, she’d almost turned around to leave but the stubborn streak that kept her chin up in the face of the bullshit that was her family, forced her to stay. Then she’d caught a glimpse of Delilah’s date. By every ounce of femininity she possessed, she was aware of him. In a visceral way that touched all of her. ALL of her.
****
There it is. Want more? Which of my worlds would it fit in? Writers, got any sisterly advice to share?

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Tuesday Treats: Loaded Totchos

It’s fall! That means play-off baseball and the World Series. It means college football and the NFL. It means pre-season hockey. Oh…and basketball. And all these sports–or a good movie–needs snacks. Who loves nachos? *raises hand* Who loves tater tots? *raise other hand* Well, today’s treat is the best of both!

Total Time: 42 Min
Prep Time: 10 Min
Cook Time: 32 Min
12 servings

Do you know what totchos are? You will after watching our How to Make Totchos cooking video. Hint: There are ORE-IDA TATER TOTS and some cheese involved.

What You Need
1 pkg. (32 oz.) ORE-IDA TATER TOTS
1 container (8 oz.) BREAKSTONE’S or KNUDSEN Sour Cream
1/4 cup KRAFT Classic Ranch Dressing
3 Tbsp. chopped fresh chives, divided
1 pkg. (8 oz.) KRAFT Shredded Cheddar Cheese
4 slices OSCAR MAYER Bacon, cooked, crumbled

Let’s Make It
1 – Heat oven to 425ºF.
2 – Bake TATER TOTS as directed on package.
3 – Meanwhile, mix sour cream, dressing and 2 Tbsp. chives until blended.
4 – Spread TATER TOTS onto platter; top with sour cream mixture, cheese and bacon. Sprinkle with remaining chives.

Kitchen Tips
Tip 1 – Low-fat Variation: Prepare using BREAKSTONE’S Reduced Fat or KNUDSEN Light Sour Cream, KRAFT Lite Ranch Dressing, KRAFT 2% Milk Shredded Cheddar Cheese and OSCAR MAYER Turkey Bacon.

Tip 2 – Substitute: Substitute chopped green onions for the chives.

CLICK HERE for the video and all the nutritional information. You know this dish is a huge hit with all the guys in my worlds–Wolves, Red Dirt cowboys, and Magicks alike. However, rather than one of the heroines stepping forward to claim the crown, one of my heroes says he’s the one who first discovered this recipe at My Food and Family and made it. Can you guess who it was? Yup. Derek Alexander, Wolf shifter and Homeland Security agent. He first appears in NIGHT MOVES and gets his own story in CRASH AND BURN. Want to read more about him and his heroine, Katherine “Kit” Carson, an Airport Rescue Firefighter (ARFF) with DFW Airport? Click on the book cover or the title. Want to check out what he’s doing with the Nightriders, click on that title.

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Another Monday Going Down

What is it about Mondays?

Seems I’ve started taking Sundays off. I mean, to the point I don’t even open my browser, much lest set up the blog for first thing on Monday morning, It’s not like I’m getting much accomplished anyway–except doubling my workload for first thing on Monday.

My typical morning: Awake between 5 a.m. and 7 a.m. Morning abultions. Wrangle dogs for morning yard trek. Wrangle cat bowls. Arrange and clean semi-paralysed old cat. Feed cats. Give treats to dogs upon reentry. Wrangle feral cats: Wynkin, Blinkyn (who appears to maybe be preggers), Hi-jinx, Salem (who I think used to be Nod but started talking to me hence the name change=-they’re all black and of similar size and with so many I sometimes lose track), Raja and Sari (Balinese who someone would adopt if they weren’t feral because they are gorgeous!), Shy Cat, Lucifer (who I think is Loki’s dad but doesn’t come around all that often anymore), and Cowboy (an orange tabby who gets bullied by the black cats. Anyway. I deal with filling feeding dishes and cleaning the water bowl because the occasional raccoon wanders by and uses it to wash left over kibble. Yeah… Anyway, I could probably find them homes or at least get them fixed if I could catch them. They stay away though they will swarm the feeder if I put the one farthest away down first, even though I’m still outside. And they wait on the porch for me. The neighbor across the street tried trapping them so she could taking them to the humane society for fixing. None of them would have any of that, which is when they started hanging out on my porch. Ah well.

In other news…

I’m not discussing college football. I just…no. And my Cards are down 2-1 in their series. Today’s game is a must win if they’re to stay in the NLDS and World series hunt. In 5U soccer, Stormageddon scored two goals, both on kicks from the mid-line after goals by the other team. His team won, though no one keeps score. Yeah, right! Parents always keep score. 😆

The weather has turned down-right chilly! Yayayayayay! I changed over to the “winter” comforter and sheets and turned the mattress yesterday. I guess I should get the fall tablecloth out for the dining room, too. And locate my Halloween centerpiece. The Halloween wreath is already on the door.

I caught up–finally!–on all the DVR’d episodes of Live PD. One “event” remains a stand-out because I just…I guess it’s because I grew up out here on the sweeping plains where the only time a guy takes his shirt off is when he’s at the swimming hole. Back east? Well…there’s the thing. Family–mom, dad, grown son–have been to a wedding. Dad and son both drank. A lot. Mom insisted on driving home. She had a blow out along a busy highway. Neither male was in ANY shape to change the tire. The East Providence (RI) police show up to help. Son goes ballistic, gets in cop’s face. His reasoning? He loves his parents. WTF?!?! *scratches head* Cop remains calm even as back-up arrives. Drunk dad jumps in because the cops are picking on his baby boy. Who. Is. In. His. Frickin’ late 30s or 40s! Again, WTF?!?! Now, here’s the kicker. BOTH of these “men” have stripped down to their shirts. Which. Are. UNBUTTONED. All the way. It’s like, wedding’s over, strip off coat, tie and unbutton shirt. I see this a lot in reality shows set in that region. I…*scratches head again*…have no words.

New week. I have hopes of new words. Stupid headspace is messing with my mind. But that’s a different story.

So, that’s the news, boring as it is. Time for another cup of coffee and then finishing off all the emails and other stuff that has to be dealt with daily that’s now double because I did the bare minimum on Saturday and none yesterday. Part of me says it’s good to take time away. But then I feel guilty and guilt–given where my head is–is a bad thing. It’s a Catch 22 of a hamster wheel. Ah well. All I can do is plod along, right?

What’s up in your neck of the world? And pressing question of the day, do you know why some guys in the NE US think running around with unbuttoned shirts is a thing? I mean, seriously!?!? That ranks right up there with dudes wearing their pants belted below their asses with their crotch down to their knees. I’m tellin’ ya, guys. It’s NOT a good look!

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Friday Free-For-All

Another week past and not much to show for it. $#!+ happens. No videos jumped up and screamed “SHARE ME!” So, you get what you get.

Yesterday’s troubles got solved. Mostly. Turned out to be on the power company’s end. Yay. Spent the morning without power while they fixed it. Turns out some people in the neighborhood kept hearing a humming sound from down this way the night before. Yeah…that would be the powerlines not working correctly. And we had garage door opener problems and the electronic ignitor on my gas stove wouldn’t work. The joy of gas is that you can use matches. Anyway, a low level brown-out before the figurative kaboom.

Speaking of neighborhoods, there’s an app for that.

Fall finally arrived. Just in time since we had no AC yesterday! Wednesday, it hit almost 90. Yesterday, it was 75 late in the day after the sun came out. Opened the windows. Woke up this morning to a 69 on the thermostat. Hrm….I wonder if that’s a sign I need to get back to work on my MC romance.

Speaking of, there’s a LIVE PD commercial that cracks me up. Trooper Callicoat from the Oklahoma Highway Patrol has chased down a biker. Callicoat says, “What did you learn?” Biker says, “That I’m a dumb ass and you’re going to catch me every time.” ‘Nuff said.

I’m frying up pounds and pounds of bacon and sausage today. Tomorrow is First Saturday, which means pancakes at the post. Followed by Stormy’s soccer game. Followed by siren test. Followed by family lunch at our favorite Mexican restaurant. Followed by a nap and weight gainage. Good thing I lost a couple pounds this week.

I’m looking for books to listen to. Nothing jumped out of audible or the library at me. Ah well.

And on that note, time to finish off the email and this first cup of coffee before heading back to the kitchen. Bacon and sausage waits for no man, woman, or furry critter. Why yes, the boys do hover around the edges hoping I will share. Hope you had a good week and a have a better weekend!

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Thursday Thoughts: Universal Reasons

So, it’s a day. Not a great day. Not even a good day. This is not the blog I planned to post. Nope. After a fitful night’s sleep filled with worries and anxiety, I woke up this morning to a warm house. The AC guy who works for the BiL never did come back to replace the board but since the house stayed cool, we could sit at the bottom of the work list. But then the didn’t seem very cool last night. And it was really warm this morning despite cooler temps outside. Then the TV in the bedroom just flicked off. It was on and then black screen. We’re already down one TV and with other bills looming and our income down, new TV(s) not in the picture. Then the lights went out. At least in that part of the house, taking the AC unit with it. So this little dandy from the Universe is far more appropriate for my mood this morning at the buttcrack of dawn.

For every setback, disappointment and heartbreak, Silver, ask yourself, “What does this create the opportunity for?”

And therein you will find its gift.

Everything has a reason,
The Universe
© http://www.tut.com ®
And if you look close enough, Silver, that reason will always be love, healing, or happy dancing, if not all three.

Dear Universe, I’m still waiting for a reason to happy dance. Love doesn’t put food on the table* or pay the bills and it’s hard to heal when you feel like you’re stuck down in a deep, dark hole. I’m ready to start happy dancing but a little cooperation would help. I keep telling myself “This too shall pass.” Still waiting.

*Well, love sort of does when you’re a romance author but when your brain is consumed with all the other crap going on in your life, it’s hard to put words up on the computer screen. It’s a vicious circle. No words, no new books. No new books, lagging sales.

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Wednesday Words: Band of Brothers

Another week has dribbled by and it’s time for another snippet based upon the #1lineWed theme over on Twitter. Today, it’s all about brotherhood, bands of brothers, brotherly love, etc. Interestingly enough, a bit of flash fiction I wrote on Monday fits the theme. FYI, I won the Judge’s Pet award for the following. If you are curious as to how one of the flash fiction challenges I participate in works, go check it out. This particular one is based on 3 prompts: a picture, a phrase, and a prompt by the judge–in this case a music video. Anyway, CHECK IT OUT HERE. Today’s bit is an unconnected snippet from the Russian side of my eventual Moonstruck Mafia series. I hope you enjoy.
****
Viktor glimpsed the back room through a door left ajar. That was more like Chinatown. Three old men, their faces wreathed by the smoke of the unfiltered cigarettes held between their lips, played cards. Out here, in the main room, he was caught in a Fellini movie—walls covered in Sixties pop art band posters, the Grateful Dead singing on the jukebox while tattooed Triad members wore their slick suits and looked tough. A sloe-eyed beauty, a rose tucked above her ear, occupied the stool next to where he stood. The bartender placed another drink in front of her and she gulped it down.

“Does it help?”

She laughed, a brittle sound that grated on his ears. “What do you think?”

“I think this is not the place for a girl like you.”

“Yeah? Goes to show what you know.” She caught the bartender’s attention with a lift of her chin and a raised finger. He returned her summons with a narrow-eyed look but delivered her drink a few moments later. She gulped this one as well. “Know what I think?”

He waited, without comment. wanting only to finish his business in this place so he could return to Brighton Beach where his Bratva brothers wore their hard-won ink like men rather than peacocks.

“I think you need to just keep on truckin’.”

One of the old men finally glanced up from the fan of cards in his hand. A soundless message passed between him and one of the peacocks, who gestured Viktor into the inner sanctum. He could now execute his orders. Mikhail had been content to let the Triads rule in Chinatown, left them to their number running, drug sales and opium dens, and protection rackets. But the ruling council had crossed the line so Viktor was here to deliver Mikhail’s message.

He shut the door in the peacock’s face and locked it. Show time.
****
And that’s how flash fiction works, though if you scrolled down to read my original on Cara’s blog, you’ll see that this was originally 250 words. I added a bit to the next to last paragraph. Writers, to have any brother words to share? Readers, what’s your favorite series that features brothers?

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Tuesday Treats: Chocolate Salted Caramel Cupcakes

So…my friend Patti is not so much a fan of Pumpkin Spice Lattes but Salted Caramel is her thing. So…this one is for her.

Total Time: 1 Hr. 31 Min.
Prep Time: 20 Min.
Cook Time: 1 Hr. 11 Min.
24 servings

Bake Chocolate Salted Caramel Cupcakes for a delicious chocolatey treat. These salted caramel cupcakes are as cute as they are tasty and easy to make.

What You Need
1 pkg. (2-layer size) chocolate cake mix
2 pkg. (3.9 oz.) JELL-O Chocolate Flavor Instant Pudding, divided
1 jar (12.25 oz.) caramel ice cream topping
2 oz. BAKER’S Semi-Sweet Chocolate
1 cup milk
1/4 cup powdered sugar
1-1/2 cups thawed COOL WHIP Whipped Topping
2 tsp. sea salt

Let’s Make It
1 – Heat oven to 350°F.
2 – Prepare cake batter and bake as directed on package for 24 cupcakes, blending 1 pkg. dry pudding mix into batter before spooning into prepared muffin cups. Cool cupcakes in pans 10 min.; remove from pans to wire racks. Cool completely.
3 – Use small sharp knife to cut 1-1/4-inch-wide hole in top of each cupcake, being careful to not cut through to bottom of cake. Fill holes with caramel topping; cover with cupcake tops.
4 – Melt chocolate as directed on package; cool slightly. Beat remaining pudding mix, milk and powdered sugar in large bowl with whisk 2 min.; stir in COOL WHIP. Spread frosting onto cupcakes; drizzle with chocolate. Sprinkle with salt.

You know the drill. For the full nutitritional details, CLICK HERE. Isabelle Fontaine, heroine of ROGUE MOON and mate of Rudy Tornjak, was raised on cafe au lait out in the Louisiana bayous but when she discovered salted caramel, she became an instant convert. Needless to say, she loves these cupcakes and even though Rudy teases her about them being frou-frou food, he’s been known to polish of a pan of them, along with several cups of cafe au lait, when Izzy isn’t looking. If you haven’t read their story, you can read ROGUE MOON for free with a Kindle Unlimited subscription or buy it to keep for $2.99. Just click on the cover or the title.

So what flavor are you?

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End of Month Monday

How can a month with only 30 days have five–count them FIVE–Mondays?!?!?!? Also how can September be over. It was just yesterday that school started, it was time for the state fair, fall arrived with a broken promise of autumnal temperatures. I do like that word. Autumnal. Doesn’t it sound just…cool?!?

So anyway. I took off the weekend which is why this post is late posting. So there’s that. There was 3-on-3 kindergarden soccer, naps, and sports.

Speaking of sports. It took them 162 games but my St. Louis Cardinals clinched the NL Central division. It took the help of the Colorado Rockies beating the Milwaukee Brewers while the Cards lost to the Chicago Cubs. Then yesterday, the Cards came on strong and beat the Cubs 9-0 while the Rockies fought the Brew Crew to a 4-3 win in 13 innings. Cards finished 2 games ahead. Next up, the league championship. Cards take on Atlanta Braves later this week. In college football, both OSU and OU won. OU remains in the top 10 while OSU moves into the top 25–finally! Yeah they, lost to Texas but just barely, and Texas is in the top 15. Anyway, the Coaches Poll has the Cowboys at #25 while the AP moved us all the way to #21. Go figure.

In other news, fall TV has started. I’m admitting to my newest addiction–The Masked Singer. This show caught my attention last year. See, all these celebrities dress up in the most AMAZING and elaborate costumes. And they sing. After the producer gives clues about their identity. Then the celebrity panel tries to guess who they are. The “contestents” go head-to-head and the audience and panel vote who moves on. Anyway, it’s cray-cray but fascinating. Last year, some big names “competed.” So there’s that to keep me occupied one night a week. Also, Ziva David has returned to NCIS. The character reappeared in last season’s finale. Which I haven’t watched. It’s on DVR. I was afraid it was some sort of fever dream suffered by Gibbs but turns out, she isn’t dead. Surely that isn’t a spoiler to anyone at this point. Anyway. I’m going to wait unti her story arc is over and then marathon watch. No gossip on how the show will handle Tony and their daughter. Also, Live PD. And Live Rescue, which has a new host. The show needs to hire me to be the Tom Morris version for Rescue. I’d fly to NYC every week for that.

Reading. Or listening in my case. I hate when a really hyped book falls short for me. I never know if it’s me or the book. Since most readers apparently love it (but I think it has more to do with the state of the world than anything) I’m gonna say it’s me. I was bored, disliked the protagonist, and the so-called twist fell flat. It came thissss close to a DNF. In more hopeful news, I’m almost finished with the “last” book in the Guild Hunter/Archangel series by Nalini Singh. It’s the only book that truly pissed me off. HUGE cliffhanger at the end and the newest release just dropped last week. Once I finish ARCHANGEL’S PROPHECY, I can immediately–cliffhanger be damned–roll over to ARCHANGEL’S WAR.

That’s pretty much my world at present. Nothing earth-shattering. Nothing exciting. Just sort of floating along keeping my head above water wishing the dog days of summer would go chase squirrels or something. I’m hoping cooler temps will get me off my arse. We’ll see. The local weather crew says Thursday. 🤞 What’s up in your world?

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